Sign-up for FREE Updates.

Closure....In Love?

Closure… I often hear of this, especially related to death. When somebody dies we need to have closure by seeing our loved one for the last time, by performing the last rites so that we accept, acknowledge the truth and try to get on with life. The living needs to go on living while the dead is only remembered and have a place in our memories.

It is said that every time lovers separate they die a little bit. It’s like seeing the face of death. Both are wrenched apart even if it is for a short while and they feel incomplete without the other.

I have often wondered, does love then like death need closure too? Are lovers happy and content, just knowing they have found love?  Are we happy loving or do we need more? Does love always need to culminate in a marriage or being together physically? Is that closure? Does love grow more after that? Do lovers need to have that physical proximity always or else love stagnates?

A romantic will say that love is love irrespective of togetherness. Two people can love intensely and yet need not be with each other, the fact that they found love is more than enough. But is it? Or are we selling ourselves short because we have no choice or we do not want to exercise that choice of letting go and moving on to find someone who will give us all…love, companionship, togetherness….Knowing that a life together will never be theirs so many of us continue to be in such relationships. Is it fear that they can never find someone better than what they have or is it hoping against hope that maybe someday a miracle will get them together? They continue with this saga of tears and pain and yet not giving up on that love.

Perhaps closure is not the right term, perhaps the word is fulfillment. Can then there be fulfillment even when two people are not with each other? Can two people be content in the knowledge that they love each other even if they can never be together in this lifetime? Does that mean that they have closure in love?

Readers I would love to have your opinion on this. Is there anything like closure in love? 

25 comments so far..What are your thoughts?

  1. Some poets say that Love is everything and once you find love you are happy, even if that love is a million miles away. People can live on memories alone but that is not living,that is surviving.To live you need to have your love close by, to see and touch.To walk hand in hand together.
    loved your post...

  2. Thank you my romantic and ever optimistic Outlier. Loved your comment

  3. You make me cry,Rimly,everytime I read your there is no closure in love...and yes,two lovers can be content in love,even though they can't be together...I know it,and I have felt it...and I am waiting...

  4. Hmmm...It's nothing like closure in TRUE love I must say, because a true lover can live far away with his/her memory and with a strong belief and hope! that might be someday he/she will come and bright-up their life which they wished for!

    Wonderful post Rimly :)

  5. i believe platonic love do exist. love cannot have a closure rather is a continuation motivation and palpitition. it can have transformations. tranformations with respect to time and maturity. its an energy and an energy can't be destroyed..........thats what i can say all about love.

  6. I think and this is only me.... That you can feel love for someone and not be with them. But unless you spend time with someone, through good and bad and still feel love then you cannot be in love. We use the word love way to much today, I love you is sometimes used as a goodbye. I love my wife, my mom, my family, my cat a really good steak , a cold beer????? You cannot truly love unless you test that love with time.
    VERy good posting Rimly as usual

  7. Love is a tough nut to crack, I think Rimly. God knows what facade it takes on each person's life and whether it necessitates a closure or fulfillment.... or whether other words need to be called in to explain the situation. Just love reading this.

  8. Wonderful thoughts. I think there are several forms of love. We can love someone and not be with them. We can love someone and spend a lifetime with them. If we love someone from afar we never see their faults. If we love someone we spend a lifetime (or years) with we do see their faults, and must deal with them. Does this make for true love? I don't know.
    Very though provoking.
    Regards, Mari

  9. i think it depend on how deep the love for that person is
    As the saying goes "where there's a will there's a way"

  10. I have not read the other comments as to I wanted to be real. If you love someone, say it to them! If you can't be with them, say it to them! If you want them to be with you, say it to them! Then see..


  11. love is not happy....but if u search even the pain can turn out to be a happy one....only if u care for the love and not expct nethi in return...
    lovely thought...very thought provoking...:)

  12. Rimly loved your in its myriad forms is brings out emotions and feelings one never thought one could have...I try to find fulfilment in the love I have in my varied relationships...lovely one so much to think about:)

  13. A bell is no bell till you ring it,
    A song is no song till you sing it And love in your heart
    Wasn't put there to stay-
    Love isn't love
    Till you give it away.
    - by Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music

    Therefore, you can only feel love and be loved in return when you have said and give it so....
    Thanks Rimly for sharing..;)

  14. I am really touched by all of you with your comments. Thank you so much. Each with their comment has given me food for thought. Thank you once again all of you

  15. What I believe is Love is that feeling which stays with us within us no matter where we are.If it's not then it's not truly love.

    Really thought provoking post

  16. Thank you Jorie and Abhisek for your comments

  17. geez rimly...tough question:P...but were you referring to closure like closing a chapter of your life or "closure" as a state of being close to each other?

    i believe that 'closure' is an important part of our lives, it enables us to move forgive , to see things as larger than life...and finally accept that we're not always in control...

    i've come to terms with the fact that long distance relationships are possible... it isn't the proximity... love depend on the couple and how they make love grow each day...

    i know because i've been loving my love for the last two years and we're very much apart from each other... i hope to finally see him soon :P...and see how things go when we're finally together:)...

    lovely rimly...thanks...

  18. True love spans all distances and overcomes all obstacles, there is nothing that can't be accomplished with a soulmate in one's life. Personally, I'd rather have a true love across the globe than settle for a second-rate love down the street. We all know when it's right, there's no denying the fact. Nice Post!!!

  19. We all, everything that exists is in an endless ocean of love. Take a clear empty jar with a good tight fitting lid. Put the lid on tight. Now you have fulfillment and closure, and love. Put it on a shelf or on a table where it can be seen. When someone asks, you can tell that it is a bottle of your love. Put a label on it, saying 100% pure love. Passion for someone or thing is only a taste of love. If you think only of the emptiness of the jar, love will find its way in. If you think of the fullness of the jar, you will find it can never be filled. I have met a person of whom I love and will always love. But we have not seen or touched 48 years, we don’t need too, our love is complete. My wife of 44 years our love will never be complete it just keeps growing. There is no depth to love; you have to have a bottom and a top to measure.
    We have never met but I feel love for you Rimly. I feel the warmth of your embrace, whenever I read you your posts. Don’t be alarmed by what you read, it is only love. Thank you and God Bless

  20. I believe that love never closes. To love is to be open. When we can't express our love, WE close. The love is still alive.

    Beautiful topic as usual. :-)

  21. Love ... when you find it be it up close in personal or long distance.. grab a hold of it and embrace it.. Love knows no distance, no boundaries... and its depths can't be measured...

  22. I have been married since I was 19, we are coming up on 17 years now. Back then I thought love is everything and love will survive no matter what. I think that is what we are taught as kids, that "love is all you need." Love, in my opinion can get us through all, but if the love we give isn't given back equalyl or more than what we put in, we are unhappy. Sometimes, we just settle because we know that the love is there just life as taken over and made us take it forgranted.

  23. loved your post - the music made me all sentimental. All I can say is I wish everyone finds love because life doesn't have much meaning without it.

  24. @Melissa thank you for your comment. What I meant was is it possible to find fulfillment or closure in love even if there is no possibility of the two people in love to ever be together.
    @ David thank you. Can you be happy knowing you have found your soul mate but can never spend your life with her?
    @Roy I am touched by your comment and love. I am sure you and your wife have a beautiful relationship that cannot be measured.
    @ Tameka, I read in one of Coelho's novel that love never dies, only people change. Thank you for your comment

  25. @Debbie when love comes embrace true. Thank you
    @Jenni yes we were taught that love conquers all. I believed it for a long time but like you say if that love is not reciprocated and you are taken for granted then that love cannot do magic.You become disillusioned and seek fulfillment elsewhere or just accept your situation.The choice is always ours
    @Lavina thank you. Love is everything, joy and sadness, pain and pleasure, agony and ecstasy. Without it we are incomplete.


Copyright Notice

This site, the articles and the graphics on this website are © by We Have A Story and are protected by DMCA.Reproduction in whole or in part,whether on paper,on the internet,on CD-ROM or any other medium,including utilization in machines capable of reproduction without our permission is illegal and strictly prohibited.

Some photos used by our authors in their articles are from Google image search or some other sources which they like.If you think they used any copyrighted photograph,drop us an e-mail with the details and we will remove it immediately.
Recommend us!

Join We Have A Story

Recent Stories

Add to Technorati Favorites
Powered by Blogger.

Grab Our Badge

Badge Partners

When The Heart Speaks