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Bruise. Tint. Truth.

In search of the whitest white, that could dazzle me of its bright.
The colour so pure, tinted itself bruising with the red,
broken heart I sit, searching for the dazzling ray of light.

Shallow height, shallow sight, shallow in the mind.
Shallow was the smile, shallow was the While, shallow was all..
Shallow was the call, nothing was as tall.. Its all in the mind.

The shallow within the white, the white within me,
the white tinted with shades of red in the course of time
while the soul cries deep down, you might see.

Within, is now shallow,
smiling at the white.
Lost its lustre..
weeping thus so quiet.

This is what I wrote a long ago in my blog. Many failed to understand. I feel I should explain it today, here, if not anywhere else. Today I stand eligible to explain this piece of mine.
I was in the search for myself, my wishes.. my expectations. As a guy who is always confused about what exactly he wants, I kept on relying on people I believed to be true... they were tall in my eyes. I could actually see myself, down the line... 5 years, successful, mature.. happy.
But what does happiness come with? How can I be happy with things, people I trust believes I shall be happy with? Circumstances moulded me to become gentle, obidient, efficient and loyal.. but directionless. Perhaps I cannot judge myself good, with all the directionlessness and perhaps all the possible good qualities that I could have imbibed. I started discovering myself.. I started searching for the whitest white. Slowly.. the tall peoples' tall claims appeared very shallow..emptying my mind, filling my eyes with an awestruck hopelessness. It was me who believed, it had been them who did good to me.. perhaps I was right, but that was definitely not what I wished to have.The Truth appeared/appears oblivion, while the red of cruelity.. the red of lustful passion did touch me, making me cry to the tunes that the Satan played. Within myself, is not the same person anymore. It is shallow, while the white, the true person has lost the mettle in him, weeping quietly remembering the directionlessness of his journey.

11 comments so far..What are your thoughts?

  1. My interpretation of this beautiful post of your is something related to life,and how the pure soul of a child gets tainted with time..and the journey to find its pureness again..."Creativity..Thy name is Anirban"....

  2. You know melancholy often brings out the best in a terms of creativity atleast.So,that's a positive out of all this negativity.

  3. greatest griefs are mute!

  4. Praise from Prosenjit means a lot to me personally. He is a peer, a friend.. and one of the critics I look forward to!
    thank you bro!

    @alpana di, thank you.
    I wish people read this.. feel, understand.. failing to which they might ask questions too!

  5. @arijita
    is this mute?? this is very vocal I guess... atleast I was vocal that time!! (that toh i always am!)

  6. Some realization of our mind are always crazy....they can be effective enough sometime to discover yourself...The question is,are you crazy enough to let them effective?......Anirbanda is lucky that he's having that much of craziness...:).....Gigalike the comment of Alpana Jaiswal.

  7. Awesome is the word......Very creative..liked it :D

  8. LOL....I am flattered and at the same time a bit embarassed..just say what I feel. Thanks.

  9. I think this piece had a lot in mind it wanted to say and then I feel at some point that expression got restrained by an attempt to rhyme the words.
    A suggestion, allow your poems to have the freedom it needs without placing too much thought into rhyming because that really doesn't bring out the potential of your feelings.
    So, yea, you did a good thing by trying to explain what it meant.
    Do try to attempt free verse. I find it difficult to rhyme too until I read Keats and realized it's more important to express than really emphasize so much on rhyming.
    Cheers! Hope life is better now!

  10. Makes more sense in context... But I liked it too when it didn't make sense :D


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