A Tribute to my beloved... Naani.
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| "When she turned into ashes" |
"This is for you, sonny." said my Naani, handing over a small piece of wrapped cloth. It
contained few goodies she used to collect for me, while i used to be away.
She used to collect toys, candies and other stuffs which i liked and keep them wrapped
in a neat cloth, which she used to give me when i visited her. Back in those days her
financial condition was miserable. She used to live in the same bunglow which wasn't
repaired after my Nana Ji's death. She had some 2 lac rupees and the old broken
bunglow, that is all my Nana Ji had left for her, but she had a Big heart... She used to
give me a Rs.100 note as shagun each time i left her.
My Nana Ji died, 14 years ago, leaving his 3 Jobless sons to support and only 2 hundred
grands in the Bank. But She never complained, NEVER.
My granny was the best human being i have ever known, for the past 20 years of my life
since i had known her she had never said a bad word about anyone ever.
"How are you granny?" I asked.
"I am okay." She replied, each and everytime i asked the question. She said NO once,
ONLY ONCE...
DAY 1 before her death:[22 March]
She used to collect toys, candies and other stuffs which i liked and keep them wrapped
in a neat cloth, which she used to give me when i visited her. Back in those days her
financial condition was miserable. She used to live in the same bunglow which wasn't
repaired after my Nana Ji's death. She had some 2 lac rupees and the old broken
bunglow, that is all my Nana Ji had left for her, but she had a Big heart... She used to
give me a Rs.100 note as shagun each time i left her.
My Nana Ji died, 14 years ago, leaving his 3 Jobless sons to support and only 2 hundred
grands in the Bank. But She never complained, NEVER.
My granny was the best human being i have ever known, for the past 20 years of my life
since i had known her she had never said a bad word about anyone ever.
"How are you granny?" I asked.
"I am okay." She replied, each and everytime i asked the question. She said NO once,
ONLY ONCE...
DAY 1 before her death:[22 March]
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"How are you Naani? You sound weak!" I asked.
"I am not well Sonny please come soon, i need to see you."
"Sure Naani, I am coming to you on 26th." I said affirmatively.
"Be blessed Son, do come." her voice faded away.
My Mami Ji's voice came next,"She has slept off, she is on sleeping pills."
"Okay. Let her sleep, I'll hang up now." I replied.
I didn't even have even a little idea that next day would come as a suurprise to me.
"How are you Naani? You sound weak!" I asked.
"I am not well Sonny please come soon, i need to see you."
"Sure Naani, I am coming to you on 26th." I said affirmatively.
"Be blessed Son, do come." her voice faded away.
My Mami Ji's voice came next,"She has slept off, she is on sleeping pills."
"Okay. Let her sleep, I'll hang up now." I replied.
I didn't even have even a little idea that next day would come as a suurprise to me.
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Day 2 [23rd March, 3:37PM] {The day she left us}
My mother came running into my room, crying. She handed her phone over to me.
I held the phone in my hand, i listened and only listened. My Mama Ji was mourning on
other side of the phone, She was dead. She had left us all. She didn't wait for 26th to
come. Last thing she wished was to see me. Her final wish never came true.
Few hours from then.. i was sitting near her cold dead body numb; Numb, because, as i
entered the house my mami ji shouted crying, "He is here, He has come to see you.
Please open your eyes.. see him"
Day 2 [23rd March, 3:37PM] {The day she left us}
My mother came running into my room, crying. She handed her phone over to me.
I held the phone in my hand, i listened and only listened. My Mama Ji was mourning on
other side of the phone, She was dead. She had left us all. She didn't wait for 26th to
come. Last thing she wished was to see me. Her final wish never came true.
Few hours from then.. i was sitting near her cold dead body numb; Numb, because, as i
entered the house my mami ji shouted crying, "He is here, He has come to see you.
Please open your eyes.. see him"
My Mami ji told me that her eyes were wide open when she died as if she were waiting
to see someone, while taking her final breath. Her eyes were force shut after her death,
as is the custom.
to see someone, while taking her final breath. Her eyes were force shut after her death,
as is the custom.
Sitting near the fire, i felt the final warmth of her love for me, sitting there i kept
thinking, "WOULD I EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS?"
thinking, "WOULD I EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR DOING THIS?"
Please forgive me Naani.. I love you!
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tats so sad...may her soul rest in peace...n dont worry u naani loved u n knew u well...though its heart hurtin..but she ll forgive u n love u no matter where she is.:)
ReplyDelete@Vaisakhi hope she does!
ReplyDeleteu reminded me of my grandma...the last time she spoke to me was on the night on 30th december 2008...it was past dinner time...she asked me..."keyechis?" i said "hya"...she nodded her head. the next morning my mother's scream woke me up...she was no more with us. i accompanied my father to the cremation...i still remember the moment before her cold lifeless body was pushed into the electric fire...i sent her my last flying kiss...in life she used to sent me a flying kiss in return...but that day i saw the fire engulf her...
ReplyDeletei can never forget that moment... i can never forget her. she was my bestest friend...she is still alive...in me...n will forever live in my heart! i love her and i know...she loves me too.
like my grandma...ur naani is also somewhere up there...they are angels now...watching over us! they will take our prayers to God...and send us His blessings.
ur naani will be watching over u...loving u more than ever.
I can feel and relate to your pain..let her go in peace..and remember,now you have your "OWN" personal 'GOD" up there to look out for you...
ReplyDeletei am holding your hand sumit... just tell me when it's time to let go...
ReplyDelete@SM di Thank you. Yes, she is with me.. always...
ReplyDelete@Alpana Thank you! I know, but i miss her!
ReplyDelete@Melissa Thank you! :)
ReplyDeletelet grateful memories survive in times of sorrow............she is with you and will always be so. may her soul rest in peace. life has to go on, Sumit..........
ReplyDeleteYou have to forgive yourself because your Naani wold never want you to hold on to this guilt. She loved you and will continue to watch over you. She will never hold it against you that you cold not reach her before she left. She would understand. So let go of that guilt.
ReplyDeleteFeeling very bad...May her soul rest in peace ..Just believe in God and take care! We are with you
ReplyDelete@Sangeeta @Rimly Hope she does...
ReplyDelete@Simmy Thank you :)
ReplyDeleteI was so depressed when I lost my Grandpa,but this is the truth of life.Your Naani will always be with you in different forms.May her soul rest in peace.
ReplyDelete@AP thank you :)
ReplyDelete