Memoirs of A Young Traveler
As the love month draws to a close, I finally mustered my courage to write a post on something so intimate and personal, that is, something that matters much to my heart.
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Contrary to many beliefs, most of my love stories were dedicated to Him whom I met before Sam. Ours was a story of a lifetime... Yesterday, upon waking up, the very first words that came out of my mouth was, "The pain is gone!" I leapt out of bed and thanked God. |
Many people were still asking if it was He who left or was it I who abandoned Him.
I began my reflections for the day and I saw this posted on my wall:
The truth is I am emptying myself because I wanted to accomodate more people into my life. I wish to forgive others. I wish to forgive myself. I knew that I could give myself totally if nothing holds me back. And it was pure grace that I felt it coming now...
today...
In the afternoon while having a lunch break, my colleague spoke of a commentary she heard over the radio. As she was recounting the story between two friends who benefited from their relationship, my mind flashed back on all the times I clung to pain just so I could feel that He's still part of me. Just so, I could feel because most parts of me have already become numb.
I wish to remember my past with love not pain...
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We wrote the lovestory together. His friends called it a fairytale ~ except that, we lived happily ever after apart from each other...
He left the last chapter unfinished and I felt like throwing the book away. But today, I took it again and decided to conclude the chapter...
He went away never to come back...
But He gave the princess so much love in her heart. It didn't diminish with His absence. Instead, it grew accordingly because she nourished it.
She felt His Spirit in everything she does... she wove magic with her hands. And the people around her felt Him. They didn't understand with their mind but they felt it with their heart.
Ahhh, that is the way it has to be...
He is alive!
He is forever alive in her heart.
I reread the whole book, Memoirs of a Young Traveler, and I felt that He gave me authority to finish it the way He wishes it to be...
With a sequel perhaps...beginning another chapter with...
fresh eyes...
dilated heart...
Melissa Tandoc
About the Author :
Born with a greek name "honey"...to a spanish named couple, "corazon" (heart) and "amado" (beloved)...we live in the atrium of my country...a former missionary of north africa... raised in the school of happiness in the path of pain... am taking up a crash course on forgiveness... and i hope to get my diploma in the university of love.My love calls himself "God hears" and i pray one day, i'll live with him in the "City of God".I call myself a "citizen of the world".Get a glimpse of my writing on my blog at " Depth"
Born with a greek name "honey"...to a spanish named couple, "corazon" (heart) and "amado" (beloved)...we live in the atrium of my country...a former missionary of north africa... raised in the school of happiness in the path of pain... am taking up a crash course on forgiveness... and i hope to get my diploma in the university of love.My love calls himself "God hears" and i pray one day, i'll live with him in the "City of God".I call myself a "citizen of the world".Get a glimpse of my writing on my blog at " Depth"
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Really Melissa, this is Love.. The inspiration behind life, the inspiration behind our words, the reason we live out our days. Love makes the world go round, love lives with us, in us, as us. It is when we let go, that it stays with us forever!
ReplyDeleteI loved the last thing you wrote Jerly...what a paradox :)
DeleteThis write-up has a sublime touch!
ReplyDelete-ELLE
It has Elle :) You were able to capture it :) Thanks.
Deletesimply wow....wonderful narration :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a true story Suvanjana ;) Thanks!
DeleteThis is beautiful. Love survives the devastation like a seed protected within the ground. Love with no expectations... just pure love which carries healing to the heart.
ReplyDeleteSending love,
Leah
It is the very definition of love Leah. Your words are very powerful. Thank you.
Deletenice and interesting
ReplyDeleteThank you, it becomes interesting to people who are not familiar with the protagonists ;)
DeleteWhat a way to end a story Melissa! I don't think there could be a better conclusion. Its a happy one for me darling... TOns of hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you Kriti. I have to write down the ending...otherwise, the story will haunt me down for ages. It took me time to truly accept it the way it is and how it should be :) I am happy with my decision.
DeleteMy dear Melissa,
ReplyDeleteI'm retyping this as my first comment was broken in two:
As you have probably come to realize by now, I exist in the image of love. I live, eat, breathe love. Love is what I know, what I write about & who I am. The greatest gift we as humans can give to another is the gift of love. Sadly, when relationships break down, it is not because of love...it is because as humans, we don't understand love and misuse its meaning then blame love. Love is flawless, perfect in every sense. When all else around us is withering and dying, love's beauty remains the only living thing that cannot die at the doorsteps of death. It is not love that fails us, but we imperfect humans with our fickle hearts and emotions who disappoint love.
Very poignant & touching post Melissa. I wish you well & hope you find the true happiness and love you seek/deserve.
Thanks for sharing.
I breathe love too Andy and for that we understand how love recreates a person. I refer to that love as God ~ pure and always life giving :) I wish, I desire and I'm working my way through inner peace and joy. I am in God's hands ;) Thanks Andy.
DeleteThe reason why I took so much time to comment here is that I understand the emotion behind this and it hurts even to speak about it.But still, you are brave and you have taken the right decision.I hope you find much more love and happiness throughout your life.Just let go of all the things that make you sad and be happy.
ReplyDeleteThe truth, dada, is I don't know what I want anymore. At this very moment, I'm not sure which road to take.
DeleteI do pray that I'll be happy with whatever decision I'll be making this time :) Thank you for journeying with me.
Melissa, You are a beautiful person inside out. When we love someone we just love without expecting anything in return and every time we think of them we send them light and love. We enrich our lives by blessing theirs.You are brave young woman,lots of love and hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI guess that's what we call unconditional love Sulekha. I do remember only the good things...I wish too...
DeleteSpell bound Melissa....very touching indeed.
ReplyDeleteLove you Janu!
ReplyDelete