We need a little more compassion!

This weekend, I finally got to finish the Allison Pearson’s novel “I Don’t Know How She Does It.” Although the movie was, pretty good but reading always made my adrenaline pump. I personally loved the story since I sympathized with the concept of a frazzled woman who juggles two worlds. The story highlights a problem that every working person faces: The Comparison.

You definitely know what I am talking about: the guilt feeling and blow that you receive to your self-esteem when an outsider passes a verdict on you. They usually draw the conclusion from a distance rather than looking what is going on inside. You are no exception even I faced the same.

We all live in a glass house and that is a reality. It is hard not to compare yourself to everyone who surrounds you. Between family, Facebook and even community, we are surrounded by stories and images that tell us about how others’ are living their lives. Unfortunately, these frequent social comparisons lead to destructive emotions and unhappiness along with behaviors like regret, guilt and ultimately lying.

It is what you do not see matters the most. A rich and full life involves a number of trade-offs. No matter how “successful” a juggler you appear to be, you can never do everything well. That friend of yours who shows the brilliantly well-kept living room will definitely have the rest of her house in a mess. Again, maybe she stays at her home for only 8 hours each day. Or else, she might have not got that promotion last year.

The art of doing a successful trade-off

You will never be able to know what trade-offs someone has made when you observe them. The exterior projection is never true. Therefore, when people compare you with something they do not fully understand does never make sense. Neither should you compare yourself with anyone since you do not know what he or she actually is!

Fellow working Ladies, can we please be more compassionate to ourselves? Instead of worrying about how one can stack up against everyone else, can we take a few minutes to get clear our own priorities each day or maybe once a week? Once we start reorienting ourselves, even the worst comparison will look relatively painless.

I would love to see a lot more compassion from one Lady to another. Just because something is a priority for you simply doesn’t mean it is my priority. So, for a change let us all please stop the judging game and lets show some respect for all the trade-offs each of us make.

Tania Mukherjee

About the Author :
I am a WAHM and resemble the circus juggler. Multitasking is my specialty. Full time Mom and a Full time Freelance writer my hands are more than full.My life is happy with a loving husband and a 30-month-old son. Previously I was the director at a SEO Company, prior to that a Teacher, before that a Banker and before that…I cannot remember anymore.I love to sip: Infusion and homemade ginger ale.In "Bong Soccer Mom" I talk about parenting and helping other parents on their journey.

6 comments so far..What are your thoughts?

AbhisekMarch 06, 2012 3:36 AM
That's brilliant...first lady to think and write like this.
UnknownMarch 06, 2012 6:53 AM
Thanks for this insightful post. I know just the woman to share this with :)
Vishal KatariaMarch 06, 2012 2:26 PM
Very true Tania. It hurts to see one woman insensitive to the feelings and issues of another. That aspect surprises a lot of us...

P.S. Maybe the entire human race could do with more compassion (towards the same or opposite gender, animals, different castes, etc.)

Nice article.